6 Comments

All too true in our twisted state and country. :-|

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What about zig zag rolling paper?

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Sadly true.

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So glad my kidlets are grown and we don't have to deal with this shibai.

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Great ideas. I have one idea…List of forbidden topics glossed over in the curriculum; tied to Tom Horne on speed dial…

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Thank you for your thoughtful list of the Arizona students required school supplies, it surely addresses the states secular requirements. Being a sixteen-year product of the parochial environment, I feel the need to add my perspective.

First and foremost, having moved on from the traditional bible of the loafs and fishes and dead guys walking and having adjusted to long ago self-serving adulterous rewrite by its author I believe we are in need of an 21st century update, thankfully we have just the guy, the 'hanging chads' governor of the swamp lands.

The "King Ron" version will introduce Arizona students to the fact that slavery was nothing more than a generously provided free 'trade school' for the enslaved, that God hated 'woke' nearly as much as His other creation - 'drag queens', that the Israelites where actually sent to Chicago and New York in golden chariots, that the word 'gay' was blasphemes and its use punishable by eternal damnation, much the same as eating meat on Friday. The charismatic swamp land governor protects, at all costs, his friend and Florida homeboy buddy - Donny Barabbas. The "King Ron" version reveals for the first time Barabbas had a first name and a girlfriend named Stormy and that the line "forgive him for he knows not what he does" was true, dumber than an eggplant, he told lies like a firehose spits out water, "I'm innocent - he did it" was his lifelong mantra. "King Ron" goes on to explain that the great 'rodent' was a false god and was to be cast out of the swamp lands, along with the 20,000 jobs and billions of pieces of silver he provides the kingdom. "For he that disparages the king must pay the price or so it is written" - it will be mandatory that this bible be included in every Arizona backpack.

Each student, over the age of 10, must be provided a 'non-registered concealed gun' for protection from the ghouls of democracy.

The correct pronoun must be confirmed for use of a school bathroom, as god intended, and assigned at birth by Tom Horn.

All books must be approved by the Arizona Real Good & Proper Book Commissioners of Maricopa, not to be confused with the 'Me a Copa' Proud Boys of Kari Lake. Commissioners are to be appointed by the scholarly Joe Arpaio.

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