Trump's Thanksgiving Day Parade 2025

The best parade, the best floats, the best tanks

Recently, the Washington Post published an in-depth report on Donald Trump‘s Stalinesque plans for his second term.

Along with dismantling the FBI, the Justice Department, the FCC and firing “disloyal” civil service employees there was a brief mention of Trump’s plans for creating an alternative to the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in Washington DC. When asked about these plans Trump ducked the question and blurted, ”Not only will I never pardon a turkey. I will personally shoot the official turkey on Fifth Avenue and Melania will dress it.”

I obtained a copy of Trump’s detailed plans. Here they are. Happy Thanksgiving.

• Drum Major Sean Hannity

• Trump Base Precision Tiki Torch Drill Team led by Don Jr.

• Flags many many many flags

  

• Illegal Immigrants in Chains

• Illegal Immigrant Roundup Rangers

• Illegal Immigrant Concentration Camp Guards

  

• Trump 2028 banners many many banners

• Tanks

  

• Marxist, Liberal Vermin in Chains

  

• Soldiers, soldiers, soldiers with lots of medals

• Note: NO wounded or disabled G.I.s

• More beautiful fantastic tanks

  

• My 9 Supreme Court Justices carrying Cross of Jesus

• More Flags

• Freedom Float featuring Ted Nugent shooting his beautiful AR-15s into the beautiful sky

• Many many jets flying overhead spelling my name in red, white and blue contrails

  

• Goose stepping Deportation Battalion

• Amazing Christmas float: 40 Mar-a-Lago Maidens singing “Deck the Walls with Classified Docs”

• “Pardoned Insurrectionists Choir” singing “God Bless Trump’s America”

• Trump University Perfect Marching Band

• More soldiers

  

• Moms for Liberty and Justice for White Christian Women

• Sons of the Confederacy for Trump

  

• Mike Pence Lynch Mob Reenactment float

• Many more fantastic tanks

• Ku Klux Klan

  

• Many many BIG trucks carrying my BIG very long nuclear missiles. (I have the best missiles)

  

• Father Flanagan and the Proud Boys Town Choir

• Charlottesville Tiki Torch Parade Brigade

• Kanye or Ye or whatever his name is singing whatever that crap is he sings I don’t know

• Giant Balloon of me Making America Great Again Flying between Washington and Abe whatsisname

• Guillotine Float Chop Chop

• Followed by my “Retribution Oxcart” filled with traitors who betrayed me begging me for their disgusting lives

  

• “Indict the Biden Crime Family Jamboree Party” float

• Putin making "Russia Great Again by Crushing Corrupt Ukraine’s Nazis”

• Kid Rock singing “Very White Christmas”

• More Beautiful fantastic flags

  

• Here I come! It’s me! Santa Claus Trump! Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas to all my Evangelicals!

  

• Jack Smith and Fanni Willis sweeping up reindeer crap on their way to be executed alongside that traitor Milley. Merry Christmas, America!

Finally, Trump notes, “We are going to make Thanksgiving great again.”