Tragedy strikes Baltimore

And Americans respond

The bridge in Baltimore collapsed because a ship that had lost power struck it. A simple plausible explanation visible to any sentient observer.

And then there are the imbeciles on the right who immediately offered their help by posting and parroting their politically motivated pernicious explanations for what had occurred.

Alex Jones posted this was the beginning of World War III and, forgive the nautical reference, that was the tip of the idiocy iceberg.

Fox News leading lunatic Maria Bartiromo blamed the tragedy on Joe Biden’s “wide open border” policy.

Maria, what causes Sean Hannity’s uncontrollable flatulence?

Joe Biden’s “wide open border” policy.

Maria, when do you have to go back to your padded cell?

Joe Biden’s “wide open border” policy.

What?

Joe Biden’s “wide open border” policy.

This morning’s posts, vlogs, blogs and howls of America’s drooling dunces reveal a goon’s lack of imagination. Allow me to offer theories for our nattering Neanderthals in America’s outback to consider:

Theory One: the bridge collapsed because liberals hate Jesus. The images we see on the deep state controlled mainstream media are deep fake forgeries produced by the deep state to draw media attention away from Trump’s announcement of the sale of his Trump Bible.

Theory Two: The lizard people, Godzilla and pedophiles. The bridge was destroyed thanks to Godzilla, sent to Baltimore Harbor by the lizard people, and Hollywood’s pedophiles, to conduct reconnaissance. When the reptilian lunkhead rose up out of the water Godzilla failed to look up and struck his lizard king head on the bridge.

Three: Let us not forget the possibility of the Jewish Space Laser force being overtaken by Hezbollah terrorists.

Rather than awaiting the results of a thorough investigation, or accepting the obvious explanation or immediately extending sympathies to the mourning families of the lost perhaps the brutish fools may consider these additional possibilities:

Four: Surely some asinine Fox “Analyst” will ask America to consider what would have happened If the bridge had been patrolled by civilian militias armed with AR-15s. White militias, of course.

Theory Five: God’s wrath. If the African American population of Baltimore had not been squandering its time on foolishness like kneeling in protest during the national anthem God would not have smitten Baltimore. See the link?

Six: It was a gay cruise ship and the crew was engaged in an orgy organized by the Clintons at the time.  

Theory Seven: The ship was coming into Baltimore to smuggle election ballots held in a Baltimore warehouse since 2020.

Eight: Isis working with Planned Parenthood and Antifa. The ship was a floating abortion clinic run by Islamic terrorists.

Nine: The tragedy was clearly caused by Chinese scientists in Wuhan who had released a bridge eating bacteria on the world. And this is just the beginning. Don’t force us to mask up American bridges! Spray them with Lysol. You wait. You know there are bamboo fibers floating in that water.

And Ten: The ship was one of George Soros’ yachts bringing in billions of illegal monies to fund Democrat dirty tricks disguised by AI as a tanker.

In the middle of the night the voices who believe in civil service began partnering state, city, county, and federal forces. Transportation Secretary Buttigieg, coordinating the federal response since mid-morning called the bridge, “One of the Cathedrals of American infrastructure.”

There’s that word. Infrastructure. Few Republicans supported Biden’s “Rebuild America” package, many snarling the word “infrastructure” as though it was a pejorative.

While dark hearts build doubt, and division, Buttigieg spoke clearly for the rest of America. “We will rebuild together.”