16 Comments
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Liberal Old Lady's avatar

Don't mince words, next time! That was hilarious. Certainly woke me up this morning. Have a wonderful Labor Day weekend and a great trip to Williamsburg. Relax and enjoy every moment, so you'll be ready to really let it fly as the election approaches.

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Ocotillo Tom's avatar

Mi Hermano,

This reads just like a screenplay: "Donnie Gets Out-Donned." I only wish that James Gandolfini was still alive to film it. Now, who could we get to play Donnie? I wonder if the actor who played Jabba The Hutt is available? Striking resemblance!

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Dennis Winsten's avatar

Fitz is in trouble should the unthinkable happen. If necessary, I'll plan to defend him with my Louisville slugger. From Veteran Grandfather.

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Pamela S.'s avatar

Loved this one! Wish it would come true!

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Elaine Cummings's avatar

OMG! Fitz strikes again! So totally perfect! I'm an old 'Cat Lady' who grew up n NJ and NYS, surrounded by a lot of Italian families, some whose sons were "my brothers from another mother," my neighbors. Many more girls and boys were my school mates. In those days, some boys went to war and did not return ... little streets in our hometown are named for them, but they were more than that. They were true friends from K-12 and beyond, when everybody's mom could make meat sauce from scratch! I'm LOL and crying, all at the same time. --- About two months to go, now, to the time when all of us will have one job: VOTE, like your life depended on it, because it will.

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Jude Johnson's avatar

Instant classic, dude. LOVED it! Youse done good - and definitely made the Master Sergeant proud.

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Steve Thomas's avatar

One thing you have to give Trump: he's been supplying humorists and comedians with material for decades, but he's really "upped his game" the last four years!

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TucsonKathy's avatar

Just an observation, I doubt Donnie has worn briefs in decades. I think the incontinence industry had to create an industrial size "brief" to accommodate their long term customer. Other than that little error the rest of the story appeared to be very accurately written. At least it was a golden puddle to match the interior.

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Joyce SMITH's avatar

What it says over the entrance to Mar-a-Lardo:

LASCIATE OGNI SPERANZA,

VOI CH'ENTRATE

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Nancy Jacques's avatar

You had me rolling and begging on the floor with laughter. My sides hurt, not from a bat.

Here's to JOY! Here's to LAUGHTER! Once again, thank you!

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Peter Bourque's avatar

What a hoot! Coincidentally, Madame and I are watching The Sopranos up at our cabin. Good stuff; keep it up.

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Lindi Laws Petroni's avatar

Well done Fitz!

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Joyce SMITH's avatar

Molto bene!

Except not Sfigato: Loser.

Figa is a reference

to women’s genitalia.

THIS IS A MISOGYNIST SLUR.

Vergogna. Beneath you.

But you know I 💙 you and your family, even if we aren't pals.

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Thomas Nicholson's avatar

Great stuff Fitz! The old Sarg would have loved it as did I. Speaking of a Sargent, who was that honor guard that stood by while Joe, the bone spurs inflicted plumber, was struggling with the wreath? I did figure out the name of the pee-soaked pants recipient - I believe it was Rudy G. working off his legal fees and million-dollar fines - naturally at the going minim wage rate as provided by all Trump property's.

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jay harris feldstein's avatar

Good one, David!

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Jerry Wilkerson's avatar

With a 48-inch waist you would think DonOLD John-Boy, AKA Heavy-Duty, could hit at least a 250-yard drive. Nope, according to Secret Service who watch him cheat.

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