“The Obama scandal isn’t working this time to protect Trump.”
Felix:
“Tell Melania the next time you see her at pole dancing class to just scream ‘BENGHAZI!’ It’s like the Republicans’ nuclear option.”
Stephanie:
“If they reach for Hillary’s emails again, they’ve officially jumped the shark.”
Felix:
“I would’ve told her myself, but I didn’t want to interrupt the class. She’s teaching it now.”
Stephanie:
“Honestly? I’m not mad. She’s giving me a career option for when this country fully collapses.
Nancy Reagan gave us ‘Just Say No.’ Barbara Bush gave us literacy.
Melania’s out here giving us free pole dancing certification with a focus on upper-body strength and regime change.
That’s the First Lady glow-up we didn’t know we needed.”
✍️ Author’s Note
Yes, this comment is in character—because the characters in Accidentally Sideways™ are very real to me.
They’re not just written. They live here now.
The story doesn’t stop when the credits roll—it staggers into your comment section in heels, holding a martini and a minor grudge.
✨ Felix is the gay superhero America’s been waiting for—armed with emotional clarity, questionable slap control, and unstoppable cheekbone energy.
🌪️ Stephanie once escaped a kidnapping with her Oscar de la Renta earring that she used to pick the lock. She reorganized the trunk and tells everyone she was “just detained.” She’s a storm in lip gloss.
💋 Alta is the maternal fashion icon this world never deserved but desperately needed. Her Jimmy Choos have their own legal team.
🍝 David is a buffet villain with unearned emotional depth and fully weaponized cluelessness.
🪞 The author? Fabulous on clearance. Dyslexic superpower.
Like a deranged Roomba dragging a cat toy behind it, I’m just trying to find my way home—making detours through heartbreak, humor, and hot glue.
Every reply, every meltdown, every glimmer of gay chaos? It’s all part of the show. These are episodic, slightly unhinged, and proudly Script-Coms™.
🎧 Come find us wherever stories live: Substack, Spotify, Apple Podcasts—anywhere you devour content.
Because here, found family isn’t just a theme—it’s a genre.
And honey?
You belong here.
I had to invent Script-Coms™ because flash fiction can’t do what I can do in 20 words.
Melania says—“I really don’t care, do you?” While visiting immigrant children!
Do you?
lol
21. Convicted Felon Ankle Bracelet is tearing the bed sheets.
Melania is an illegal immigrant. Ehen will she be deported?
Being told "too old for Jeffrey"
Really fun!! ❤️
Stephanie:
“The Obama scandal isn’t working this time to protect Trump.”
Felix:
“Tell Melania the next time you see her at pole dancing class to just scream ‘BENGHAZI!’ It’s like the Republicans’ nuclear option.”
Stephanie:
“If they reach for Hillary’s emails again, they’ve officially jumped the shark.”
Felix:
“I would’ve told her myself, but I didn’t want to interrupt the class. She’s teaching it now.”
Stephanie:
“Honestly? I’m not mad. She’s giving me a career option for when this country fully collapses.
Nancy Reagan gave us ‘Just Say No.’ Barbara Bush gave us literacy.
Melania’s out here giving us free pole dancing certification with a focus on upper-body strength and regime change.
That’s the First Lady glow-up we didn’t know we needed.”
✍️ Author’s Note
Yes, this comment is in character—because the characters in Accidentally Sideways™ are very real to me.
They’re not just written. They live here now.
The story doesn’t stop when the credits roll—it staggers into your comment section in heels, holding a martini and a minor grudge.
✨ Felix is the gay superhero America’s been waiting for—armed with emotional clarity, questionable slap control, and unstoppable cheekbone energy.
🌪️ Stephanie once escaped a kidnapping with her Oscar de la Renta earring that she used to pick the lock. She reorganized the trunk and tells everyone she was “just detained.” She’s a storm in lip gloss.
💋 Alta is the maternal fashion icon this world never deserved but desperately needed. Her Jimmy Choos have their own legal team.
🍝 David is a buffet villain with unearned emotional depth and fully weaponized cluelessness.
🪞 The author? Fabulous on clearance. Dyslexic superpower.
Like a deranged Roomba dragging a cat toy behind it, I’m just trying to find my way home—making detours through heartbreak, humor, and hot glue.
Every reply, every meltdown, every glimmer of gay chaos? It’s all part of the show. These are episodic, slightly unhinged, and proudly Script-Coms™.
🎧 Come find us wherever stories live: Substack, Spotify, Apple Podcasts—anywhere you devour content.
Because here, found family isn’t just a theme—it’s a genre.
And honey?
You belong here.
I had to invent Script-Coms™ because flash fiction can’t do what I can do in 20 words.
🔗 linktr.ee/IFelixYou
https://open.spotify.com/episode/0b5buS4YydfXzVrkCE31Wm?si=UiCk-SpeSByhPd-yf0GshQ