Melania’s Twenty Pet Peeves:
“Bronzer on the bed sheets”
“The Tic Tac breath”
“Men with tiny hands”
“Soggy diapers left on the bathroom floor”
“Men who snore like beached walruses”
“Chronic Tweeting. Is sickness.”
“Flaking puckered lips that look like old man’s butthole coming at me”
“Golf clubs in my beautiful bathtub”
“Classified Documents taking up wardrobe closet space”
“Vice-President J.D.Vance constantly borrowing eyeliner”
“Stories of celebs who got better pre-nups”
“Garish tacky color gold is everywhere!”
“WWF or FOX always on”
“Fox & Friends always coming over asking for pork rinds and R.C. Colas”
“Covfefe stains”
“How you say belch that reeks of Quarter-Pounder?”
“Sour flatulence”
“Democracy”
“Poor people with no sense of fashion style I cannot bear look at.”
“Everyone has camera in this country”





Melania says—“I really don’t care, do you?” While visiting immigrant children!
Do you?
lol