Labor Day and my Labor of Love
How is Arizona's Progressive Voice doing?
I published my first substack post back in February and on this lovely Labor Day, with the promise of Autumn and new beginnings upon us, I find myself asking how am I doing? And where do I go from here?
Arizona’s Progressive Voice has grown beyond my wildest dreams.
I never imagined 2,882 of you, and the numbers grow daily, would subscribe to my newsletter and in just eight remarkable months. I feel a joyful gratitude to you all, a gratitude that motivates me to give you my best.
Nearly ninety posts later I feel it’s time to reassess this work in progress.
Producing Arizona’s Progressive Voice is such a fun, addictive and rewarding endeavor I have too often valued speed and quantity over quality, resulting in embarrassing typos and inconsistent writing.
So I called myself into my office and I had a long talk with myself. (One of the joys of journalist-owned journalism)
The first thing I said to me was,“Pace yourself. Rather than posting willy-nilly, my least favorite duo next to Milli Vanilli, you should devise a publishing schedule you can adhere to.”
“But sometimes I’ll see a story that fires me up and I just have to-”
“Have to what? Write like you’re running out of time? Who do you think you are? Alexander Hamilton? Get a grip. Here at Fitz & No Associates we think you should experiment with a mix of features and formats that adhere to a schedule.”
“But-”
“It will be better for you and your readers. That way they will know what Fitz features to expect in their inboxes and when.”
“Give me an example, Citizen Kane.”
“Post one long form column a week; deliver it to your readers’ email inboxes every Friday or Saturday. Or Sunday. When folks have time to read. People have lives to live, Garrison Keillor, Junior.”
“But-”
“And post your short form pieces twice a week, through the work week, for folks who have less time to read your piffle.”
“My what?”
“Piffle.”
“Piffle?”
“Mix it up. Sometimes publish a Fitz Eventz post promoting your public appearances and then a-”
“If readers want to know where I am isn’t a Silver Alert on the nightly news enough?”
“You’re a laugh riot, granddad. In these times we all need an injection of satirical silliness to keep us going. At least give us your Fitz Quick Hitz posts once or twice a week. Or Fun Fitz Factz or-”
“You really like the letter ‘Z’, don’t you, Zippy. I’m on it.”
So I walked out on me and made up a list. Later that day I went looking for me and found I was nowhere to be found so I returned the next morning. “Here’s the list of features I came up with that I can post in addition to my weekly column.”
I looked at the list and I gave me a patronizing pat on the head. “Good job, Geezer.” And then I asked me, ”So once a week your subscribers will get a long form column, your weekly Fitz Fix, over the weekend? It takes you 6-days to find all the typos? And additionally, randomly, through the week, you’ll crank out two or more of these features?”
I nodded.
Fitz Eventz
Fitz Quick Hitz
Fitz Factz
Master Inkslinger Series
Fitz Cartoon Galleries
I looked over the list and I told me, “Sounds good. But, I know you won’t stick to it. You don’t like regularity.”
I told me, “Are you kidding? Why do you think I eat Grape Nuts and twigs?”
“I’m talking about consistency. A schedule. You hate schedules.”
“I’ll learn! I will!”
I didn’t believe me for one Morenci minute. A Morenci minute lasts a lifetime.
“I know I have to stick to a schedule! How else will I find the time to go to the gym or play with my grandkids or go to lunch with my friends to discuss our prostates? How esle wil I slow donw inn odor too avoidd typoz?”
“Go the gym? You don’t go to a gym. You are such a liar. Get out of my office.”
I pointed the way out for me. Like I was a child. I left me wondering, “What got into me?” And then I planned my week.
A short piece for this Tuesday.
A short post for Thursday.
And a column for Saturday.
And then I read Guiliani was going to declare bankruptcy. I was so excited I looked for me everywhere to tell me, “There will always be exceptions! DId you see this news item? Maybe I’ll write three quick hits this week! Plus the column!”
I wasn’t in. So, without me to talk to about it, I went ahead and wrote it. “To Hell with me,” I said.
Ten Ways Giuliani can Raise Funds to Pay for his Bankruptcy Filing:
Print and peddle mug shot T-shirts with caption “America’s Mayor”
Haul manure for Four Seasons Total Landscaping
Pray for second 9/11 event
Offer online betting on outcome of livestream pay-for-view pending jailhouse assault by yet to be determined cell mate
Audition for a minor role in “Borat 3”
Compete on “Dancing with the Stars” carrying Trump piggyback style. Should be a breeze. Trump only weighs 215.
Sell Upper Eastside Manhattan luxury apartment to Russian contacts
Endorse Hair Dye product “Guaranteed not to run”
Look into Steve Bannon’s storied willingness to pay for sponge baths
Write a musical: “Everything Trump touches turns to Giuliani”
Love your wit and insight, Fitz! No need to “stick to a schedule”! Life doesn’t! When something “write-worthy” happens, write about it! Your opinions, and the clever way only you can express them, are eagerly awaited!! Write On!
You’re doing great! I’ll take whatever you are inclined to post. I’m so glad you’re still willing- and I don’t care whatever your schedule might be. Enjoy the lack of structure. You’ve earned it.