Jim Jordan

Next in line to enormous power

Today the Republicans in the United States House of Representatives are voting on nominee Jim Jordan to be their next Speaker.

Jim Jordan is an intellectual featherweight, a spectacularly rabid and utterly foolish demagogue. Jordan is a despicable, dishonest, treasonous enabler and apologist for the January 6th Insurrection. He is a craven, cowardly creep accused of failing to protect multiple Ohio State University wrestlers from a sexual predator when he was an Assistant Coach. If Jordan is selected to “lead” he will be a witless grandstander guaranteed to shut down the government, disgrace his office, embarrass himself and his party and cost Republicans the House.

These attributes stand Representative Jim Jordan in good stead with the Republican majority in the House who are bereft of hope and common sense, small men and women who love their party of nihilistic chaos more than they love their country.

If Jordan fails to win the Speaker’s gavel here is the GOP shortlist for possible Speakers being circulated among members of the Freedom Caucus. One does not have to be a member of the United States House of Representatives to serve as Speaker.

The names are apparently listed in order of preference.

1. Sean Hannity

2. Alex Jones

3. David Duke

4. A swatch of DNA from General Benedict Arnold’s wig

5. “The Joker”

6. Mike Lindell

7. Ass cheek belonging to Steve Scalise that did not take a bullet

8. Sarah Palin

9. Drag King from Biloxi named “Bitch McConnell"

10. Glenn Beck

11. Chatbot programmed to destroy the Federal Government

12. Rush Limbaugh’s exhumed corpse

13. Michelle Bachman

14. Herschel Walker until they learn he’s black

15. Tucker Carlson’s bow tie

16. Lauren Boebert’s free hand

17. Ted Cruz

18. Party clown from Kentucky “Lindsey Graham Cracker”

19. Long-tailed weasel on loan from the Washington Zoo

20. A wax likeness of Jefferson Davis from Pigeon Fork, Tennessee