If Ron DeSantis was our Governor

And was in charge of teaching history in Arizona?

This past Spring Gov. Katie Hobbs vetoed a bill that would have banned the teaching of critical race theory in Arizona schools. This got me to wondering what Arizona’s public school teachers would be banned from teaching if Ron Ron DeRacist, DeBully, DeThug, DeSantis was our Governor.

Or worse—Kari Lake?

Governor Hobbs, (left), Governor Ron DeSantis (right)

Mexican American Studies would be banned under a DeSantis regime.

My mistake.

Mexican American Studies were banned in Arizona, under a Jan Brewer regime. Back in 2010.

Let me try this again.

The whitewashed program that succeeded Arizona’s Mexican-Studies-Program would be banned if DeSantis was in charge of teaching history in Arizona.

If DeSantis was running things teachers would be forbidden from ever mentioning that Latino students were often slapped or expelled for the crime of speaking their native language in an Arizona classroom. (Because we all know teaching white children that racism was commonplace, and is still commonplace, in their state, would make them feel bad.)

Arizona’s teachers would be banned from teaching about the housing laws Arizona put in place in the twenties that permitted racial and ethnic segregation that constituted a real esate apartheid. Forget teaching that these vile, ugly, un-American “racial restrictive covenants” persisted until the fifties.

I’m sure you can think of some racist Arizona history I’m overlooking that would be censored. Leave your nugget of shame here in this comment section:

Under a Republican regime teachers would be muzzled when it comes to teaching young Arizonans that the United States Department of Justice had to intervene to end close to twenty discriminatory voting practices in Arizona.

Teachers better not teach that Arizona once banned mixed marriages.

Or that this absurd, racist and cruel prohibition was the law of the land all the way up until 1959. That’s the year when Henry Oyama and Mary Ann Jordan of Tucson won their court battle to overturn Arizona’s law banning interracial marriage. Don’t expect to ever learn their names in a Republican classroom.

If DeSantis ruled out here among the tumbleweeds, history teachers would be forbidden from teaching that white Arizona systematically denied voting rights pretty much ever since it was a territory. Instead you’d be taught we live in a historically colorblind state.

Teachers would be banned from teaching that Arizona required voters to pass an English literacy test in order to vote.

You sure as Hell won’t be earning extra credit by pointing out that this anti-democratic, racist, fascist action was inspired by the very same literacy tests used by evil Dixiecrats to turn away Black voters at the polls.

Students would never be taught about the time Arizona challenged an amendment in 1970 that would have banned literacy tests.

Students would never be taught about how Chinese railroad laborers were called coolies and prohibited from entering towns.

Students would never be taught about how Mexican laborers were called “wetbacks”.

Students would never be taught how Arizona’s Republican-dominated Legislature cleansed our state’s voting rolls back in the fifties to insure a white-only voter roll. They did it by requiring all voting-age citizens to reregister to vote. Oh, so clever. They somehow failed to share this detail with Hispanic voters, thus the sly racists wiped out decades of registration drives in Arizona’s barrios, depriving thousands of their right to vote.

Students would never be taught about the time Arizona was singled out by the Voting Rights Act because of our decades old record of suppressing every minority voter.

Students would never be taught about the Navajo code talkers and their instrumental role in WWII. Why? Because it would make children feel bad to learn when those nice veterans returned home they were still denied the right to vote by white Arizona.

What lies would a Republican regime demand that educators teach?

• Native Americans benefited from being placed on reservations.

• Native Americans benefited from genocide.

• The 2020 election was stolen by a vast conspiracy of multi-racial pro-open-borders baby-killing pedophiles and Marxist Arizonans.

• Governor Evan Mecham courageously rescinded the Martin Luther King holiday because everyone who ever googled “Martin Luther King was a Communist” knows “Martin Luther King was a Communist”.

• The Mexican War was started by Mexico as a pretext to steal Arizona from the West which was rightfully won by John Wayne who was Arizona’s first Governor and heroically turned communist traitors over to the McCarthy Hearings in the “nifty” fifties, a time before Arizona women were radicalized by lesbian feminists and witches.

• The Grand Canyon was stolen from great American mining corporations by an evil out-of-control Federal government.

• Tucson is an ancient Anglo-Saxon word meaning “Berkeley with Barrios”.

• “Old Tucson” was Arizona’s first settlement, the Camp Grant massacre of Apache women and children never happened, Buffalo Soldiers were actual buffaloes and the shootout at the OK Corral was a false flag event incited by Chinese railroad workers who were anti-gun radicals, John McCain and Barry Goldwater were Republicans in name only and Linda Ronstadt is a Marxist who hates America and Governor Evan Mecham was Arizona’s greatest Governor and, as Ev insisted, Black children like being called “Pickaninnies”.

Class dismissed.

Now go out there and rule the 21st century.