Hacker broke into the Arizona Secretary of State’s election website
Trump took immediate action
After a hacker broke into the Arizona Secretary of State’s election website U.S. Department of Homeland Security is offering the following 8-point election cybersecurity support plan for 2026:
Election software and hardware inspections by trusted advisor named “Vladimyr”
“Cyber Ninjas” standing by on alert ready to swing into action at first word of breech.
Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem appoints Neil Dinkman, 19-year old “Computer Department” sales associate at “Best Buy” in Pierre, South Dakota to oversee 2026 election cybersecurity effort.
Trump announces plan to “obliterate Iran’s capacity to hack Arizona elections” by raising tariffs on coffee beans.
Hegseth announces special ops team of very tiny Nano-National-Guard-Bots to patrol ballot counting motherboards
Trump invites members of Congress to screen the film “Tron” to “stay on top of the latest tech issues.”
Trump invites Turkey, Russia, North Korea & China Elections Monitors to referee our “free and fair elections”
Trump calls for National Day of Prayer for God to watch over 2026 election
You left out Hungry as one of the election observers, otherwise you’re spot on! Considering the caliber of people he’s appointed to vital positions, this scenario doesn’t seem all that far-fetched. Terrifying!
9. Trump sends David Fitzsimmons to prison in Uganda for subversive rhetoric. Sad.