Could Trump have negotiated a way out of America's Civil War?

History buffs want to know

At a campaign stop in Iowa President Trump said America's Civil War could have been negotiated. His remarks were edited by the mainstream press. Here is the unabridged text of President Trump’s uncensored remarks:

I find the Civil War fascinating. It was different. So many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park Sites. In middle school Jeff Davis was voted most likely to secede. Who knew?

When I visited Gettysburg I saw so many graves! Over a billion dead. And I thought what losers. What was in it for them?

After Gettysburg it all went south for the confederacy.

So many mistakes were made. And that’s a shame because there were good people on both sides. So many people died. It was vicious. Hand to hand combat. Ugly. Like my divorces. Terrible.

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Lincoln could have made a deal with the South. He could have saved thousands of lives. But then you never would have heard of him. Unless you drove one of his town cars.

I read Lincoln’s entire Gettysburg Address. Fascinating. Especially the zip code. Lincoln‘s Gettysburg address was divisive! All of his woke talk about a nation conceived in liberty, blah, blah, blah, dedicated to the proposition all men are created equal was just socialist Marxism ignoring the fact this is a Christian nation that was conceived in religious liberty so that government of me, by me, for me, shall never perish from the earth. From sea to shining sea. With charity towards Jared and Ivanka. And malice towards none of our patriots, my January 6th Insurrectionists!

Abe made so many mistakes. No one would have crossed the Mason Nixon Line if I had been in the White House. I would have built a beautiful wall. And the South would have paid for it.

When Lincoln signed the Declaration of Emancipendence at Appomattox it was clearly more trouble than it was worth.

What happened to state’s rights and freedom?

By the time Colonel Sanders surrendered at Yorktown it was too late. Three billion were dead. The Yankees had won the Series. Terrible.

I would have avoided that tragedy by inviting all the players to Mar-a-Lago. Martin Luther King. Yankee Doodle. Rhett Butler. My friend Frederick Douglass. Abraham Lincoln. Jefferson Davis.

I would have made Abe understand that the idea of a union was totally outdated. Unions are obsolete. Over rated. Ask Amazon. The Union was like NATO. Do we need NATO? No we don’t. Ask any Russian on the street and he’ll tell you we don’t need NATO.

I would have said to Jeff here’s the deal.

First, stop calling your slaves ‘slaves’. The word has a very bad connotation. Call them ‘Apprentices’.

And no whipping. A simple “You’re fired” should get their attention.

I would have offered to post a tweet firing all the Generals, telling the secessionists to go home. To stand down. We love them.

I would have appointed Governor Ron DeSantis to run the Slavery Job Training Program.

I would have said to the South come back to the fold and we’ll let you keep your statues, your chain gangs, your prison labor, your housing discrimination laws, your voter suppression laws, your poll taxes and all of your segregation laws. I’ve always been a big fan of segregation. Ever since I was a landlord. ‘Keep ‘em out of our condos’, my dad would say.

I would have told all the parties there that the woke anti-slavery Party of Lincoln is dead. It is now my party, the Party of Trump. And I would have promised Jefferson Davis my Justice Department would never interfere with state’s rights.

And now my haters are saying I’m dividing the country because I’m suggesting a deal could have been struck with the Confederacy. How is that divisive? By bringing southerners, confederates, secessionists, insurrectionists and white supremacists together! How is that dividing the country?

When I said the civil war could have been negotiated I meant we could have hit the pause button on the whole thing.

At least until this election year.

This is the year I’m going to pour gasoline on the smoldering embers of that war. And I’m going to take a torch to it. And I’m going to watch America burn in 2024 like Sherman watched Atlanta go up in flames.