Will the University of Arizona comply?
Cornered by a mob boss and his goons
A compact to sign
On Wednesday, the Trump administration sent letters to nine major universities proposing a “compact”, a bargain of sorts, one might say. In this instance I’d argue “compact” is a very polite pseudonym. You know how “neutralize” or means “whack”? Or “Go for a long drive” means “snuff? It’s like that. In Trump’s “Mob Boss” glossary “compact” is simply a sanitized word for “extortion”. Of the most most foul kind. Picture dark alleys and broken thumbs and thugs beyond the reach of the law. Picture the Don’s orange hands around the throat of academic freedom across this country. Squeezing. Tighter and tighter.
This foul felon calls my alma mater, the University of Arizona, a “good actor”. In this context “good actor” would describe any compliant coward who obediently follows the script shoved into their broken hands by this maladjusted mob goon-in-chief. “Good boy” or “good dog” would suit this moment equally well.
You can forget “bear down, Arizona.” Bow down, good actor, bow down.
When the history of this era is written
When the history of this criminal fascist era is written this will be a disgrace for all Wildcats to live down. A stain on our school from “A’ Mountain to Old Main. Our 140-year old university was a “good actor”.
Not a principled, defiant, heroic institution.
A “good actor.”
What is the offer U of A President Garimella, the poor cornered fella, can’t refuse?
Freeze tuition rates for five years.
Limit foreign student enrollment.
Accept Trump’s gender rules.
And prohibit anything that would “punish, belittle and even spark violence against conservative ideas” such as what? Critical thinking? Teaching reason or offering courses in rational thought?
Is that it? That’s all, right? Like Hell it is. You know, as sure as Wilbur’s a wildcat, that this will be just the beginning.
Bow down, Arizona, and you’ll win!
Bow down and you’ll receive generous federal dollars. Turn us down and you will lose. Bigly. You can forget the federal teat. Suck it up and I, Donald Trump, promise you that you can suckle away at my plump orange bosom. Unless you ever piss me off. As Tony Soprano would say, “Capiche?”
Tell the mob boss in the Oval Office this thuggery is not authorized anywhere in the Constitution or federal law, and he’ll wheeze, “I don’t need no stinkin’ law or Constitution.” But, Godfather, constitutional law tells us the government cannot condition a benefit on a recipient having to give up a constitutional right such as free speech. Or in understandable English: “You can’t use extortion to toss academic freedom in the east river.”
Sorry, he can’t hear you.
The Trump Family Mob wants complete control over higher education, like they have in Russia, North Korea, Hungary and other oligarchical paradises. The Trump Family Mob simply wants “a more welcoming environment for conservatives.” Because we all know today’s tender conservatives must be coddled in academia because they are sensitive snowflakes who melt and whither whenever they’re exposed to—what for them is the rarest of experiences—the warm sunlight of non-partisan Fox-free rational truth.
The Trump Family Mob wants to “abolish departments that spark violence against conservative ideas.” And what Department would that be? Fine Arts? Anthropology? Social Sciences? The Department of Sparking Violence against Conservative Ideas? Bring your own Tiki torches, Proud Boy scholars.
The Trump Family Mob says sign our compact and you’ll get the “promise” of money. And if you don’t, they’ll crack their knuckles and remind you that otherwise you’ll have to “sleep with the fishes”. Don’t make the Trump Mob “turn your school colors from red and blue to black and blue.”
And then it’s over. Capiche?
But Garimella already kissed the ring several times hoping it would be over. Garimella’s history of compliance is the reason our beloved University of Arizona is known to the Mob as a Good Actor. Garimella has already obeyed the racist old Don, eliminating the DEI programs, committees and services that displeased him. Today Garimella oversees the conservative fantasy of a colorblind campus, where DEI is DOA, and where students can enjoy a campus blind to the racism, resurgent sexism and festering social injustice that persists no matter what the deluded right says about our America.
Garimella, my friend, you are no Nelson Mandela.
A spokesman for President G said, “We’re r-r-reviewing the c-c-compact c-c-carefully.” He forgot to add, “—-and we’re exploring many options such as whether to purchase Styrofoam knee pads or just go with a kneeling bench. What chapstick is best for frequent ring kissing?”
There was a time when the University of Arizona was envisioned as a great institution aiming to be the Harvard of the West. Not anymore. Not even close. Harvard’s leadership has balls.
The threat of losing federal funding is far greater to this University President than the threat of losing academic freedom. I get it, Garamesh. When you’re in a dark alley with thugs what are you to do? You ask yourself, “Is the threat of losing federal funding greater than the stain of forever losing your soul to an authoritarian fascist? Is surrendering the noble pursuit of truth worth it?
Permit me to whisper in your ear this thought, my friend. Sign and it’s not over.
Two Words: Gavin Newsom
"IF ANY CALIFORNIA UNIVERSITY SIGNS THIS RADICAL AGREEMENT, THEY’LL LOSE BILLIONS IN STATE FUNDING — INCLUDING CAL GRANTS — INSTANTLY. CALIFORNIA WILL NOT BANKROLL SCHOOLS THAT SELL OUT THEIR STUDENTS, PROFESSORS, RESEARCHERS, AND SURRENDER ACADEMIC FREEDOM." Governor Gavin Newsom https://www.gov.ca.gov/2025/10/02/governor-newsom-no-state-funding-for-sell-out-universities/
In a world of Garimellas, we need Katie Hobbs to be like Gavin.
Look, I understand AZ doesn't have the state money CA has. But this kowtowing to the FatFelon is disgusting and gets you nowhere. Ask ABC and CBS.
Such a sad era to be living during the most disgusting person to ever be called president