Trump’s Top 20 “press distractions"
According to sources he has hundreds ready to use.
What else is on Trump’s list of “distractions” when he’s desperate to wrest the news coverage away from significant news like “Southern California Suffers Apocalyptic Fire” or “President Carter Laid to Rest”? Plenty. Hundreds. Thousands.
According to sources here are his top twenty: “Today I’m announcing plans to-
-buy Wakanda.”
-rename Canada ‘Paul Bunyan Land’.”
-declare Melania a national monument. She’s phenomenal.”
-pardon John Wilkes Booth. I have a theory they got the wrong man.”
-sell Pearl Harbor to Japan.”
-order the FBI to hunt down and capture the Man in the Moon. He’s laughing at us.”
-take possession of Narnia.”
-rename Piestawa Peak ‘Squaw Peak’. ”
-designate the red ‘Make America Great Again’ cap the ‘National Hat’ .”
-outlaw wind turbines because they give birds ‘wind cancer’."
-permit oil rigs in the Great Lakes. We have great plans for that region. Great plans.”
-rename the ‘Mississippi River’ the ‘Miss America River’. It’ll pour out into the Gulf of America. Isn’t that beautiful?”
-sell George Takei to Japan. Isn’t that where he’s from? Along with Pearl Harbor.”
-create a task force to take on the global zombie threat. It’s very real.”
- recommend bleach injections as a cure for woke liberalism to my Surgeon General to promote. Along with warning labels on shower heads.”
-to violate the nuclear test ban treaty by testing a nuclear device on the next hurricane.”
-to cancel the Federal Government’s recommendations that Americans exercise and eat a balanced diet. What a stupid waste. I never have. And look at me!”
-invite my friend Frederick Douglass’ to stand with me when I announce my plans to rescind Martin Luther King Day.”
-rename the Boy Scouts ‘MAGA Youth’. It will be fantastic. First person to shoot anyone who calls them ‘maggots’ gets a pardon from me.”
-designate “Reagan International Airport” a National Monument because it was the first airport George Washington’s Continental Army captured during the Revolutionary War. Not many know that.”
Coming Sunday: My complete list of the University of Arizona’s 103 Vice Presidents.
All a distraction for ALL he promised his deranged followers. That’s his thing!!!
You forget his plan to change A Mountain to T Mountain.