Trump interview with Black journalists part of long-range plan

I had a few moments with the former President and felon

Trump: I want to give Kama-lah as many clips of me saying disgusting racist weird things to use in her ads against me as possible. And I want to remind voters of how racist I can be. I love talking down to Black women. Who needs the votes of Black women? Who needs the Black vote?

Why do you say that?

I’m following the plan I laid out in Project 2024.

You mean 2025?

Never heard of any Project 2025.

The Heritage Foundation. Hello?

Who?

Did you know J.D. Vance wrote the foreward to Project 2025?

Vance? Vince? Pence? Can’t place the name. I kid. People tell me he is the worst running mate ever selected in the history of the Presidency. He’s tanking with suburban women. People without kids. Even people with kids. Everyone hates JD. Our poll numbers are sinking like an electric boat surrounded by sharks. We’re in a dead heat thanks to him.

Check off box number two on my Project 2024 do list. I am going totally kamikaze, now.

What?

Between you and me I’m so sick of doing this reality show. I don’t blame America. I’m sick of me, too. Over and over I give the same rally speeches and stumble through the same stupid jokes. Years and years and years. I hate my jokes. I just end up hopelessly craving more stage time and uncontrollably spewing totally irrational shit. I’m spinning my wheels here, people. My base laughs no matter what I say. I could fart and they think I’m a genius. They don’t know from genius!

You believe you are a genius?

Would a genius anoint a hillbilly weirdo to be a heartbeat away for the Presidency? He’s got a jug of moonshine in one hand, a tech portfolio in the other and he’s a family man who thinks if you aren’t a family woman you shouldn’t have a say because you are a socio-pathic cat loving weirdo.

What’s next on your Project 2024 list?

I’m stuck doing rallies indoors. And endless interviews like this one so I’ve got to come up with some more crazy shit to spew to get the media attention away from Kama-Lah. It’s not easy coming up with this crazy shit day after day. It’s very conceptual high-art, really.

I need a different Hannibal Lechter line. It’s not landing. Took me months to refine that beauty. Used to get laughs. Now I look out on a sea of weird looks. People walking to their cars in the distance. I used to love to watch the fights break out. Now it’s just my white racist old men who watch Fox thrilled to see the original Vegas lounge act live on a County Fair stage. From a national Reality TV show for many many many seasons to this. Talking to hillbillies on haybales in a string of horrible states.

I hate having to know stuff. I never had to know much of anything when I did the Apprentice. It was just business bullshit. Thank God we had scripts.

My ratings are sinking faster than Melania’s mood. She wants out so bad it’s unbelievable. After all I’ve given her. Mar-a-Lago! Pool boys! The White House to decorate for Christmas! You got to love her hall of blood red Christmas trees. Dark Alice Cooper shit. Speaking of Ka-Mah-la and her race issue I think Melania’s Transylvanian. I really do. People tell me they saw her flying over the Carpathian Mountains. I think that’s what they call them. Love of my life. We do Bible Study together when she’s not rubbing her tits against a fighter jet for Jugs magazine.

People are missing the whole point of my electric battery in the boat story! I’m trying to make a point about electric cars. People tell me electric cars cause cancer and diabetes just like long showers and windmills. I knew that before everybody. People tell me things. I don’t listen except when they’re just about finished talking and they finally make their Goddam point. I got connections to MIT.

Anything else you’d like to say?

I’m done playing this part. I’ll lose; claim I was cheated; go to jail. Boom. Show’s over. I’m done playing a high energy stimulant-addled sociopathic manipulative chronic liar. I’m exhausted. It’s tough being a narcissist. Only truly great human beings are capable of dealing with their narcissism. I think I do a fabulous job, frankly.

I’ll lose some weight. Get a decent GED. Pay attention this time around. Read. People say prisons have libraries. I did not know that. Maybe shave my head. The hair thing is so high maintenance, you wouldn’t believe. Hit on someone age appropriate. Maybe write love letters to Martha Stewart. It’s possible I’ll get out before I die. Maybe Martha and I walk on a beach together. I’ll paint landscapes, write poetry and children’s books. Best of all I’ll have time to actually read the Bible.

I’m just messing with you. Where did Biden go? He’s coming back, I tell you.