"This Bill is a deal with the devil."

--Congresswoman Alexandra Ocasio Cortez

And when the debt comes due...

Down in Hell two of Lucifer’s employees, Ork and Damien are working the late shift monitoring the security cameras.

Hey, Ork, did you know he wrote the art of the deal?

Trump? Nope. He didn’t write it. His ghost writer wrote it. His ghost-writer is in here. We all make deals we regret.

Tell me about it. I had to work down in Sulphur Control for a thousand years before Lucifer would offer me this job working with you here in Security. I had to jump through so many hoops! I had to demonstrate trident proficiency. I know how to reassemble every thermostat down here…

Bing bong

Well, there they are!

Hell’s bells! Half past the hour. Time to see how we're doing. Call up sector one on screen five.

You got it boss.

Who's the new guy?

Juan Ciscomani. His bill just came due. A wolf and sheep's clothing. So proud to be a Christian yet pretty boy here passes a bill that would condemn millions to hardship, untreated illness and even death. Nice work, right? And Mr. Humble refused to take credit for his role in this evil act.

That’s our boy!

Sold his soul cheap. A pat on the back from Trump and Cisco agrees to close rural hospitals, kick people off of health insurance, unchain A.I. and build concentration camps. Countless will die just because this Christian got blown by Trump and his billionaires.

Hell is just full of a zillion phony Christians like him. Hey, did I tell you? I got Jimmy Swaggart's autograph earlier this week.

What did he autograph? A pair of knee-pads?

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Only time Trump ever got down on his knees was to beg our boss for a deal so he'd be president forever.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. And Hitler wanted Russia in trade for his shriveled soul. These losers are hilarious. Speaking of the boss…

A visit from the Big Demon

Boys. How's it going?

Hey. We're having a hell of a good time here boss.

Excellent. Damien, get those horns polished. Ork, your hooves are dirty.

Yes, sir.

Sorry, boss.

Let me know if anything comes up, you two. I'll be roasting pharmaceutical middlemen in sector 17. Later.

Later, boss.

Yeah, later, boss.

What's that smell? It’s new. Sort of like burnt flesh…It’s coming from sector three.

Sector three reports they just got a fresh shipment of souls..every Republican from the House of Representatives.

You know it's funny. Some of those idiots thought they were going to Mar-a-Lago. Ha ha ha ha ha.

And the Republican Senators just crossed over… Alert the front desk… Holy Hell. They smell like burnt manure.

I'll talk to maintenance. Get them to close the vents. We all have to struggle for air sometime.Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha.

You are such a little devil.

Thank you.

Can you zoom in on this? Look at the chains they’re dragging. They’re hanging around their necks and arms and they're huge.

The chains they forged in life.

Have I heard that somewhere before?

Bing bong

Sorry, hell’s bells! I gotta take this. Security. What can I do for you? No. No, sorry I can't help you.

What was that about?

Wrong line. ICE called. They want advice on how to make their concentration camps a living hell for human beings.

Invite them down. They may as well see their future digs.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Hey, do you have any horn polish I could borrow?

Not on me.

Check out sector eight. Can we get those billionaires to shovel the brimstone a little faster? It's just not fun unless they're crying. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Hey, can you heart that?

We all can hear it.

Do you have earplugs? The endless whining and crying is finally starting to get to me. The guy never stops. And he's eight levels down. In the pit itself.

Yeah, we’ve had to put up with it ever since he came down here.

Well, he’s turning Hell into…a living hell. It's not the Hell Sweet Hell I used to know.

No one has ever made as many deals with the boss as that orange loser. Hundreds of deals struck with Lucifer… only to renege on every last one. Didn't think he'd ever have to pay. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha..

He’ll be here forever. Forgotten, like what’s-his-name in sector 327.

Who?

See what I mean? Forgotten.

Zoom in and turn up the audio.

Can’t you mute his voice? I hate the sound of his voice. Especially when he’s begging.

Turn it up.

I’m covering my ears. It's bad enough we have to look at him… naked… in a pit of lava…without his makeup…and his combover.

Put me on speaker. Can you hear me?

Who is this?

We heard you were immune from prosecution.

What? Who said that?

Lucifer. Snicker. giggle. Snort.

You're Lucifer?

We heard you’re immune from prosecution. Too bad you aren't immune from persecution. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Turn down the heat! I’m burning. You can’t do this to me.

Shush. I just wanted to say good job! Robbing so many poor souls to feed your very rich friends. How wonderfully evil!

Thanks. I appreciate that.

And you get points for cutting off healthcare for all those souls leaving millions to die. Fabulously sinister. And cutting off millions in cancer research funding! Now that’s deliciously evil…

Thanks.

Raise the lava up to his neck… Cue the Hellfire…Turn it up to 10.

Yes, sir…Ha ha ha ha ha. You're nobody down here.

Arghhhh!! Nooooo!

All your friend’s souls are here. All of them are nobodies now. We got Roy Cohn, Vance, Epstein, and a couple of your Justices… you’re just a dime a dozen con man here… a nobody.

What?

A nobody.

Rex Tillerson was right.

This guy’s a fucking moron. I’m bored. Cue the Hellfire.

Yes sir.

Turn it up to 11.