Things The House Republicans should look at shutting down before shutting down the government

Twenty suggestions for Kevin

Kevin looking very, very “Home alone”.

I have 20-suggestions for you, House Speaker McCarthy. You’re welcome.

1. Shut down the Republican Presidential “debates” before the Environmental Protection Agency shuts them down for violating every toxic emission regulation on the books.

2. Shut down the Freedom Caucus. God grant us freedom from the chaos and caca you keep stepping in.

3. Shut down the “House Oversight Committee on the Biden Impeachment Inquiry” in which your MAGA baboons are flinging imaginary excrement at the hallowed walls of Congress. When zoo chimps in the real world fling stool at least they have something of substance in their mitts.

4. Shut down the funding of any organization which bans books. Of course, you’ll need to host a tutorial explaining what a “book” is to Matt Gaetz and Marjorie Taylor Greene.

5. Shut down all the bigoted, superstitious, anti-rational, pro-censorship right-wing Christian Nationalists slithering their snake oil peddling snakehandlers into power in the dead husk of your old GOP.

6. Shut down Mar-a-Lago. Close it down before the Bankruptcy Court does.

7. Shut down Dark Money. End your addiction to billionaire subsidies. Of course this would end your ideologically bankrupt Party of tools and stooges but we can dream can’t we?

8. Shut down Q-Anon. Shut down the sewers. End your addiction to toxic lies. Of course shutting down your lie mills would end your factually bankrupt Party of tools and stooges but we can dream can’t we?

9. Shut down the sale of combat weapons to civilians. I know this is asking a lot. You and your thugs need to have AR-15s to intimidate voters and your political opponents because your ideas alone won’t sell.

10. Shut down every refuge for American Nazis. This is a tough one. You’d have to shut down the entire MAGA Republican Party. We’re here to help on election day in November of 2024.

11. Shut down the Proud Boys. Or after the DOJ convictions I should say shut down the remaining Proud Boy.

12. Shut down all your racist, anti-semitic, misogynistic and treasonous insurrectionists. In short, shut down Paul Gosar.

13. Shut down Pastors for Trump. What’s next? Ministers for Mussolini? Priests for Pinochet? Who let these anti-Christian “Pastors” with orange pulp for brains near pulpits?

14. Shut down Genocidal Dictators for Trump. Small club, but growing.

15. Shut down Moms for Liberty. Liberate us from America’s Taliban in Gingham.

16. National Rifle Association.

17. The Moral Majority. This group has never been a majority or moral.

18. The corrupt Texas Republican Party. Stalins in stetsons.

19. Shut down House Speaker Kevin McCarthy and every wage, fitness, health, medicare, social security and retirement benefit these parasitic MAGA Republican members of Congress receive.

20. Fox and every talk radio and internet troll who created this Frankenstein’s monster.

    I have a dream. It’s a start.