The shocking truth behind Trump’s Ballroom
Now it can be told!
Now the shocking truth can be told!
The President’s Ballroom is not what it appears to be! And our reporting team had the balls to find out the truth!
If you had any doubts about dementia in this West Wing’s top whack job get ready for the stunning truth behind what Trump was thinking when he called for a huge and we mean warehouse-sized huge ballroom to be built on the eastern side of America’s gold gilt White House.
Hold onto your MAGA hats because our President in piddle pants does not intend to build a ballroom for ballroom dances-but he intends his “Ball Room” to display all the actual “balls” of every obedient, bowing scraping servile terrified toady of President Donald J Trump!
It will be the world’s largest collection of pant nuggets
Hundreds of thousands of pairs of dangling gonads of great caving men like Elon Musk and oddities such as the withered testicles of alleged “women” like Representative Elise Stefanik will be curated.
All will be hung and displayed like trophies in a glistening gold natural history museum “honoring” each and every “loyal” trusted ally for their craven cowardice.
At the recent press conference where Trump mentioned this in passing our reporter had a question for him.
“Balls?”
“It was always true. I’ve got them by the balls. What am I supposed to do with them all?”
“Where are your balls Mr. President?”
“In Moscow.”
“They sold their souls to me and their souls reside in their balls. I’ll bet you didn’t know that. I’ve been told it’s true.”
The President personally grabbed, squeezed, snipped, pickled and cauterized each and every set of balls that will be on display.
Neatly sliced with a ceremonial Trump Knife, (On sale in the Gift Shop) the balls from his most obedient and loyal sycophants will be dipped in gold and displayed as a trophy keepsake in Trump’s crypt for the cashews he collected from his cowed castrated cattle.
The Castration Room
Past the classic colonnade we enter the Georgian style Castration Room where the subject ceremoniously kneels, accompanied by ICE Agents and National Guardsmen, before President Trump, who declares to all who can read a tweet, “I got you by the balls!”
His supplicant’s balls are pinched and “voluntarily” handed over to Donald J. Trump who passes them to the caretaker of the Trump ballroom to be preserved and displayed as the castrated subject of the great King recites the following:
“Thank you, Mr.President.
You are a genius.
How may I donate to this project?
May I buy some merch on my way out?”
Will people ever dance in this Ballroom?
It has been said by Washington insiders that when the willing supplicants are having their scrotum plucked and pickled in order to happily hand over their kiwis to a giant orange nut they appear to dance like chickens.The President’s ballroom will be used as a vast warehouse for securely storing and displaying his hundreds of thousands of balls.
The testicles from giants like Jeff “Tiny Balls” Bezos will be displayed alongside the pant peas of every single pardoned January 6th trailer zombie.
It will feature rotating exhibits such as “Yellow bellies of famous Congress-men” with the chief feature being a display of Lindsey Graham’s grapes which have been described as “turning into raisins.” And who doesn’t want to see Lindsey’s neatly preserved hairless jewels?
Abbott Hall
Trump has the tinker bells of every republican governor hanging in tiny limp tinker pairs in Abbott Hall named for Governor Greg “He’s got my eggs” Abbott of Texas. Governor Abbott’s diminutive nards are the centerpiece of Abbott Hall.
Note: Trump has designed the room to be non-ADA compliant.
The Great Hall of Congressional Testicles
The Great Hall of Congressional Testicles will house the hundreds of pale yellow Republican God-fearing testes tenderly commended unto Trump’s tiny hands. The President once reportedly remarked, “They’re the color of egg yolk. My favorite color.”
The eggs sacks from Mr. Trump’s herd of Senate and House geldings will be housed near the Stations of the Six Justices.
The Stations of the Six Justices
The Stations of the Six Justices will include Amy Coney Barrett’s enormous freckled balls, one of which is said to be the size of St.Peter’s dome.
Thimble Court
The shriveled B-Bs of every Fortune 500 corporate donor to the Donald J Trump Ballroom will be displayed in thimbles made of pure gold.
Marco Rubio’s Nuts
The President said yesterday, “Marco Rubio’s nuts will be prominently displayed in the grand entryway. They’ll more popular than the Mona Lisa! I’ll have them under 24-hour surveillance.”
The Hall of the God-fearing Gonads
My favorite is the Hall of the God-fearing Gonads, designed to be festooned with the balls of America’s Biblical illiterati, testes the size of olive pits that once hung in the sansa-belt slacks favored by the chosen, will face rapture sans their devout village idiot hosts. Two of each from every kind will be displayed in the “Great Ark of Donald Trump’s Satanic Covenant” space. Copies of “The Art of the Deal with Satan” will be available at the merch shop. The testicles of the Holiest of the MAGA mega-church “Trump Bible” chumps are said to weep at night.
The Hall of Spines
The Hall of Spines. This is where Trump will display his biggest captives, the actual yellow spines of of his most servile former targets bullied into servile servitude. See the marvel of the yellow vertebrae of assorted former Trump “critics” displayed behind glass—for all to admire.
Trump loving Washingtonians will be lining up to the be the first to tour this world classless collection in President Donald Trump’s Ball Room!
See them now before they’re bio-hazard waste to be plucked from the rubble and incinerated when Trump leaves office.
Oh my! You are brilliant. Thanks for giving me a much needed LAUGH OUT LOUD. Truth
When the time comes and construction is finished, it will be interesting to see if any of these cowards actually had balls… Personally I doubt it. That being the case, I hope they burn the whole damn atrocity to the ground and restore the East Wing…