Simon Cowell to judge veeps auditioning on "Democrats Got Talent"

Who will win the golden "Kamala Harris" buzzer?

I was razzed by some Progressives when I wrote earlier that Biden should step down to unleash the young talent in the Democratic Party. Here’s the result I predicted:

I’m Simon Cowell, judge and host of “America’s Democrats Got Talent”. With me tonight is Howie, Sofia, Lionel, Katy, Heidi and Pierce and we’re auditioning the Democratic bench to find the right one to join the Harris campaign as her running mate.

First up, Tim Waltz former teacher, veteran and Governor of Minnesota

What are you going to do for Kamala?

Call the Republicans weird. Have you ever seen Trump laugh? I’ve only seen him laugh at other people. Guy’s weird.

Judges?

We loved it! You just made “weird” the word of the day. And you’re a gun owner. And a former geography teacher!

Next up. Good luck beating Tim! And what is your name?

Doug Emhoff. You can call me the First Man.

You aren’t in the running to be your wife’s running mate!

Still I’m going to call out Mr.Trump for mispronouncing Kamala’s name. ready?

Judges?

We’re ready.

Mr.Trump, I see you have trouble pronouncing Kamala’s name. But that’s okay, Mr.Trump, in November you can just call her Madam President.

Ding, ding, ding! Oh snap! Listen to that applause! What did you think Howie? Sofia? Heidi?

I loved it! Her husband takes the prize. Who’s next?

Hua! My name is Mark Kelly.

What are you going to do for us?

I’m a former fighter pilot. My folks were cops and I flew space ships.

Game over! You’re going to the Second Round!

Who’s this?

Governor Shapiro. I’m a kick ass prosecutor. And I’m a Jew.

What are you going to do for us?

Kick ass. Get the crowd excited.

Go for it.

Together we are going to kick ass this November! We’re going to get shit done.

I don’t know. How about you Howie? Paula? Lionel? Sofia? Katy? Heidi? Pierce?

Strong!

Very strong.

Tough talk.

And you need Pennsylvania to win.

You’re going to the Second Round, Governor Shapiro!

That’s it for today. Who’s up next week?

Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker, Transportation Secretary Buttigieg, Governor Beshear of Tennessee and Governor Roy Cooper of North Carolina.

Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker, Transportation Secretary Buttigieg, Governor Beshear of Tennessee and Governor Roy Cooper of North Carolina.

Thanks for watching “America’s Democrats got Talent.”

O ye of little faith.

In related political entertainment news…

The ratings for “Trump the Reality TV Show” have begun to tank with viewers “weary of the tired tropes by an aging incoherent exhausted performer who’s been repeating his same old oldies but goodies at rallies for decades.”

The spinoff series “J.D. Vance” premiered a month ago and will not be renewed.

Meanwhile “Kamala” has shot to the number one spot.