Kari Lake

Kari is said to be launching her bid for the United States Senate in October because...

Kari is said to be launching her bid for the United States Senate in October. Why? Maybe it’s because that’s when the Great Pumpkin rises from Mar-a-Lago or that’s when the un-dead walk among the un-elected. The truth is I think the Republican Gubernatorial candidate who said “Arizonans know Bullshit when they see it” is running to test her theory. Again.

Odds are good Kari is running for the Senate because she heard she didn’t make Trump’s short list for possible running mates. (Everyone knows Trump’s running mate will be a full-length cardboard likeness of Donald Trump.)

Kyrsten Sinema, an Independent, has said she’s waiting for the billionaire donors she depends on to tell her what to do. Gallego, the Democrat, is busy knocking on doors introducing himself to voters.

The pundits are certain Arizona MAGA Republican Kari Lake will launch her mega MAGA Senate run as soon as early next month. This is according to three people familiar with her plans: Dr. Evil, The Penguin and Lex Luthor.

What are her politics? Rabid.

What are her policies? Ask Trump. Kari, our Trump in pumps, is running as an “America First” candidate because she promises that if God gives her the go-ahead America will be the first country to know. Even though Tasmania is closely following her career.

I for one am looking forward to Kari running for the Senate because when she loses it will be fun to watch her claim to be the duly-rejected Senator from Arizona whose election was stolen by the Council of the Nine Extraterrestrials governed by George Soros who made his fortune inventing the Jewish Space Laser until Hunter Biden stole the patent and traded it for child sex slaves in Hollywood who are now captives in Merrick Garland’s eyebrows.

I think another significant reason Kari says she is “seriously considering running for the Senate” is because she loves the expression on people’s faces whenever she uses the word “seriously”. There is no gravitas under the kabuki news anchor makeup that constitutes her plastic husk. None. Her depth is as deep as blush.

She will alienate the McCain Republicans and terrify the sane Independents and motivate the Dems. So run, Kari, run.You have to admire a weightless delusional narcissist whose sole ambition is to never concede they lost two races for high office. Not one. But two.

She believes herself to be heroic, martyred and fearless. She left megalomanical of that list. What hubris, what arrogance drives an eyewitless news talking head to run for the highest office in the state without ever having run for any office? How about a School Board seat? A state senate seat? Oh, no. Such low ambition is not for the Anointed. The Chosen. God has greater plans for Maricopa County’s Messiah.

I’ll agree she is fearless. Except when it comes to exploring therapy. Why do I lie so frequently? Why do I spread conspiracy theories that injure others? Why do I avoid critical thinking at all costs? Why do I embrace Christianity while rejecting the tenets? Why am I a narcissist? Why am I a mindless cult follower of a vulgar reality TV star?

To Hell with self-examination.

Kari is running for the Senate because running is a way of life for those needy attention-craving souls unwilling to hit “pause” and engage in profound reflection.

And those spotlights can be so addictive.