HEADLINES 2025

A LOOK BACK AT THE YEAR THAT WAS A YEAR TO FORGET

TRUMP TO NAME NEW BATTLESHIPS AFTER SELF, U.S.S. DRAFTDODGER, U.S.S. BONESPUR FIRST TO BE BUILT IN KOREA, CHRISTENED BY TRUMP AND RUSSIAN HOOKERS

CBS News to rename “Sixty Minutes” whatever Trump wants it to be renamed

New Pope from Chicago elected; in historic edict calls for sacramental wafer to be replaced with brautwurst

TRUMP’S GLOBAL TRADE WAR WITH PEOPLE OF EARTH UPDATE: NO ONE WINNING SO FAR

Artificial Intelligence transforms MEMEMEdia FOR THE MUCH BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBETTER BESTEST

Katie Hobbs vetoes 174 bills in 2025, first Arizona Gov to employ stampco-auto-veto-pen to prevent wrist injury

Trump threatens war with Venezuela, orders Cuba to surrender, House of Representatives surrenders, Johnson praises Jesus, confusion, chaos reigns

Charlie Kirk Assassinated; Nation Under strict orders from White House to Mourn or “Else”

Atty General Kris Mayes sues Trump Administration more than 2-dozen times, from challenging attempt to end birthright citizenship, to withholding SNAP benefits, to changing state name to Charlie Kirkistan.

Rob Reiner murdered, Nation Under Strict Orders from White House to Snicker at President’s Cruel Post “mocking murder”

NUCLEAR WINTER ENVELOPES EARTH, EPSTEIN FILES RELEASED IN ENTIRETY

CONGRESSMAN RAUL GRIJALVA DIES, ARIZONA BIDS FOND ADIOS TO PROGRESSIVE GIANT, “CHENGA TU MAGA” FLAGS FLOWN AT FULL STAFF FOR 3-DAYS

Mark Kelly to run for President, Thanks Sec of Defense Pete Hegseth, President Trump for “huge Campaign boost, Surge in Donations”

Trump to ease tariffs on oxygen as he faces pressure from MAGA base turning blue, flailing, gasping for air

Adelita Grijalva elected to Congress in July, sworn in by Speaker Johnson in Nov. blaming “southern drawl” for slow response

MARK KELLY DENIES RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT AT D.C. KELLY FOR PRESIDENT CAMPAIGN HEADQUARTERS

Trump pardons California wildfires

Trump bombs Iran, proud to have annihilated “any shot at disarming Iran”

PARDONED JAN. 6TH INSURRECTIONISTS RANSACK CAPITOL RECORDS

At Burning Point USA Vice President J.D.Vance declares “In Donald Trump’s America we no longer have to apologize for being white. Or for being morons.”

Netanyahu orders Gaza refugees to evacuate planet, IDF “accidentally” nukes space ark, issues statement

Trump: ICE arrests entire nation, deports 343-million Americans

In not-so shocking upset United States betrays Ukraine, Western Europe, Epstein’s victims, Constitutional law and Children with Measles

Record Hot, Dry, “Winter Weather” fools Flocks of Winter Visitors into migrating Home Months Early

PUNDITS PREDICT BLUE WAVE, OR MARTIAL LAW OR COLLAPSE OF SOCIETY IN 2026

Will summer of ‘26 be hotter than summer of ‘25?

And those are the headlines from 2025 that made this the year I truly prefer not to remember. As we head into 2026 I am reminded of the wise words of the great philosophers found singing in the band Bachman-Turner Overdrive who said it best. “You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.”

Let us agree to laugh together as we keep our candles lit against the darkness.Ever onward, my friends.