Headlines
RFK Jr downs algae from Reflecting Pool, says “algae and pond scum an excellent source of protein and Omega-3 fatty acids”
DEAL MAKER DONALD TOUTS “HISTORIC” MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR PAYOFF TO IRAN IN EXCHANGE FOR NOTHING
EXPERT ANALYSIS: Stormy Daniels went away for far less than Iran
Department of War to change name to United States Defensive Department
White House counters critics, “Trump promised base they’d get tired of Winning”
Trump signs unconditional surrender to Iran at Versailles, where France surrendered to Hitler in 1940
Standing Headline Template:
Trump, Announces “bold” fix for ____, Ignores all complexities, Goes with ill-informed “gut”, Fails, worsens problem, Declares “Success!”
Iran to charge fees in the Strait of Hormuz, Foreign Ministry spokesperson says, laughing
ALLEGED “STABLE GENIUS”, REALIZES WAR MUST END “BECAUSE OF THREAT TO GLOBAL OIL SUPPLY”, BILLIONS OF DOLLARS, HUNDREDS OF LIVES AND LIMBS TOO LATE
Trump takes victory lap at G7 summit, celebrates setting up Vice President Vance to be unparalleled strategic disaster’s “fall guy”
President defends letting Tehran keep its arsenal of ballistic missiles, letting his $15 million reflecting pool keep it’s “phenomenally beautiful green algae”
Trump warns self continuing war could lead to an "global depression”
Trump fails to warn self continuing in office could lead to impeachment
War can only be declared by Congress. This fiasco should be rightfully deemed an “incursion”, a “police action” or a “national bankruptcy” or “more of taxpayers money down the poop hole” The incursion cost each and every American family $853. Such a deal !!
Somebody change Grandpa's diaper and put him to bed before he gives the US Treasury to Jan. 6th Insurrectionists.