Fitz Quick Hits
Unfair to peeps my age and just plain wrong
Being close to seventy has given me perspective on all the hoo-hah about our aged politicos. At 68 I am not the punk I once was. I have friends in their late eighties who are sharp as tacks and others who should be hung on the wall with a tack for their own safety. With that in mind I’m asking myself what 20-characteristics do Mitch McConnell, Dianne Feinstein, Donald Trump, Nancy Pelosi and Joe Biden share in common?
Constantly interrupting big dollar donors to ask for directions to the nearest restroom
The indignity of often being compared to the cast of “Cocoon”
The same bedpan emblazoned with the Great Seal of the United States of America
A mastery of the Charleston
Memories of Lincoln
The belief “hip hop” is an award-winning children’s book about a bunny
Fond recollections of singing along with Hamilton. And Lafayette. In New York’s finest taverns.
The inability to recall meeting President McKinley with clarity
Calling reporters “rapscallions”, “whippersnappers” and “curs”
The conviction you are never too old to be doing whatever it was you keep forgetting you were called by Providence to do
Drawing a blank when asked questions like, ”Why did you call of us together just now?”
The haunting fragrance of Ben Gay with a hint of Pomade
The same brand of catheter lube
A love for sharing stories about their prostates behind the Washington Monument. Diane Feinstein is said to often complain “My prostate is the size of Adam Schiff’s head.” When Bernie Sanders pointed out she lacks a prostate she replied, “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Barney. I have a state and the people there love me.”
Walkers with official flags and red squeeze-ball bike horns on the handles, and tennis balls on the feet
Free access to the finest health care in the world that too many Americans still cannot afford
Enjoying a level of deference that few seniors in the real world enjoy
The belief Yoda is way too young to be a Jedi Master
Free prescription refills
The secret belief that when JFK asserted “the torch” should be “passed to a new generation of Americans,” he was a “scamp” who didn’t know “squat about what he was talking about”
I'm old (72), I still write software and I wouldn't trust myself running a donut shop much less the government. Hand this off to a new generation, PLEASE!
When I have my memory blank outs and am searching for a word/term, my whippersnapper son tells my I'd be perfect to moderate a debate between McConnell and Feinstein. Ouch.