Fitz Quick Hit: Birdbrains and bullies

Sleepless in New Hampshire

After Trump’s weak 11-point “victory” in New Hampshire his feathers were so ruffled by Nikki Haley’s refusal to surrender he was pecking at his phone, posting until after two in the morning, while every sane American was sleeping.

Case in point: “Anybody that makes a ‘Contribution’ to Birdbrain, from this moment forth, will be permanently barred from the MAGA camp. We don’t want them, and will not accept them, because we Put America First, and ALWAYS WILL!”

Well, that was unhinged.

Governor Haley, you need my advice.

First, invite Liz Cheney to run with you as your Veep on an Independent Anti-Trump ticket against the old rapist.

Second, let me be your response team leader. Learn to fire back insults, double barreled and rapid-fire.

Here’s ten of the top of my head.

1. I’m the birdbrain? This from looney tunes Daffy Donald Trump.

2. Listen Chicken Little, your sky really is falling among independents and moderates.

3. Pity the Mallard from Mar-a-Lago. What’s the matter? Afraid your fat cat donors aren’t going to feather your nest anymore?

4. By the time this race is over your only supporters will be the MAGA ostriches who have their heads in the quicksand.

5. I’d say the ‘birdbrained’ MAGA parrots who once flocked to you are now singing like canaries to District Attorneys all over the country.

6. You always count your chickens long before they hatch, don’t you Donald? Sooner or later smart Republicans are going to realize it’s a mistake to put all their eggs in one basket, especially a babbling basket case like you.

7. ‘Birdbrain’. That’s hilarious. Do you hear what I hear? Sounds like cockatoo that screeches when agitated.

8. Listen Tweety, you tawt you taw a putty tat. You did. And this cat has claws.

9. Have you heard how incoherent the old cuckoo is sounding these days?

10. We all know someone as damaged as you will never eat crow but I promise you this ‘birdbrain’ will live to see you running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off.

Three bonus roasts because who doesn’t love a roasted turkey?

Can I talk turkey with you about the fraud from Florida? By the time the election rolls around his goose will be cooked and I guarantee you he’s going to be goose-stepping straight into the hoosegow.

Yesterday I told my kids when I’m in the White House I’m going to write a children’s story about the Mallard from Mar-a-Lago who quacked up. My kids told me I laid an egg with that one.

Donald, you couldn’t resist dipping your beak in so many con games, could you? You’ll be such a fat target for the Democrats, it’ll be like a turkey shoot for Biden.

Coming Sunday: Chapter Three of the Cyber Ninjas Saga