Excursion onto the surface of a hostile world

Tucson in July

I’m going to ask Alexa what the temperature is today.

You ask her every hour! I don’t want to know. Call me crazy but I like the summer heat.

Not me. I used to ride my bike all around this sandbox in July. Not anymore. I’m from here but I’m too damned old for these summers.

Oh it’s a hundred and ten in Gila Bend, 
in Buckeye it’s a hundred and two.
Summer’s here 
and I just can't find a way to stop lovin’ you.

Every time I bring up summer it’s a damned cue for you to sing. Don’t you know any other songs? Torture on top of the heat?

Each day I face
the barren waste
without the taste 
of water,
Cool, clear water?

Just stop. I can’t believe you talked me into opening the hatch of our space colony to step out onto this hostile planet.

You watch too much sci-fi. We’re just grabbing some EeGee’s. What do you want? Watermelon? Mango?

I’ll make up my mind if I make it there alive. Turn all the AC vents on me. Dorothy, this witch is melting. And I forgot my barbecue mitts! Damned steering wheel is burning my hands! What a world.

We’re here already. Drive-thru?

Naw. I’d rather park in the shade.

Not there. There.

Thanks for the landing tip, Captain Scully.

The Eagle has landed. Ready for extravehicular activity? Hat? Shades? Sunscreen?

We’re only walking ten feet to-

Yesterday I saw a Desert Tortoise panting. Today is one of those days when we could spontaneously combust.

Alright. I got my hat and shades. I put on sunscreen earlier.

Open the hatches.

Hatches open.

Holy Mother of Apollo! What’s that sizzling sound?

My biscuits are burnin’ !

Run!

I’m running!

Hi, folks, what can I get you?

I’d like a massive Mango Watermelon Piña Colada Eegee.

Yessir. And what would you like?

A coma until October.

For here or to go?