And he’s on the roof of the House of Representatives

He saw a text on Truth Social from Trump

I just got off the phone complaining to my congressman.

He was a sane Republican when I voted for him. I don’t know what’s happened to him. He’s become a MAGA Republican.

Yeah?

And he’s on the roof of the House of Representatives.

What?

He saw a text on Truth Social from Trump. Trump claimed he was going to jump off the roof of Mar-a-Lago if the Senate Republicans didn’t follow his orders. Here’s the text. See? Read it.

“I expect my followers to follow suit. Make America great again.” Jesus.

And this picture of Trump “jumping” has gone viral.

Snopes says someone took an image of Trump diving in his trunks into his pool and Photoshopped him diving off the tower at Mar-a-Lago. Look at this. They did a lousy job…

Let me guess. Because your pinhead congressman believes the leader of his party jumped off the roof, he’s climbed up on the roof of the United States Con…I have got to see this. It’s got to be on the news.

And he’s going to jump off! That’s what he told me. The Capitol Hill Police are trying to talk him down.

I found it. Live coverage. My God. He’s standing on the pediment.

Where? What’s a pediment?

Above the steps and columns. It’s the low triangular feature with the statues in it that the columns support. Above the entrance. Can you see your idiot? He’s wearing a red MAGA cap and waving a confederate flag.

I see him. He’s a tiny speck! Googled “pediment”. Got it. Says the central statues are "Peace Protecting Genius”. He’s no genius. It’s a couple a hundred feet straight down to the steps. The granite steps. What are the cops saying?

Sounds like they’re negotiating while they try to apprehend him before he does something he’ll regret. What did your rep tell you?

He’s just “following the leader of his party.” I said, “What if all your friends jumped off the Empire State Building? Would you?” Then he shouted, “You’re not my mother!” And he hung up on me. Look there’s a cop with a bullhorn!

I’ll turn up the sound.

What’s the cop with the bullhorn saying?

“If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you jump, too?”

What’s his answer?

“If it made America great again.”

What’s the cop shouting now?

“What if your best friend texted that he jumped in a lake naked as the day he was born. Would you?

What’s his answer?

“If it made America great again.”

Listen. The cop’s talking again. “What if your friend was twice impeached, and was a proven chronic liar, and a convicted fraud and was facing multiple felony charges for pushing huge lies that could cost him jail time, tell me, if that friend told you to take a running jump off a big, tall bridge into a river what would you do?”

What’s his answer?

“Name the river.”

What’s the cop shouting now?

“Don’t jump! Peer pressure isn’t always the best influence!”

That’s so not persuasive to a MAGA.

What’s the cop shouting now?

“Think for yourself.” You have got to be kidding. Your congressman just flipped him off.

He does not know who he’s talking to. So, uh, Trump didn’t jump off the roof of Mar-a-Lago last night, right?

Right. Trump’s not that stupid. I’m watching him on my phone. He’s at some rally right now..in the Midwest.. telling his followers to jump off their roofs. Some left to jump off their roofs before he even finished his speech.

Wow. Look at this New York Post headline: “Sale Of Ladders Through Roof. Republicans Falling Faster than Gas Prices.” Disgusting. So unfunny.

Oh, my God. Look! Your congressman’s standing way too close to the edge. Looks like he really is going to do it!

Looks like D.C. Fire has their nets out below.

Oh, my God. He’s running down the right side of the pediment. They’re running with their nets. I can’t watch.

He dove off the pediment! A somersault gainer!

Uh! Ooh! Augh. Ugh. That was horrifying. Unbelievable. Turn it off.

I can’t. There’s more of them popping up on the roof. The roof is crawling with MAGA Republicans! They’re jumping. It’s a nightmare! Out of some apocalyptic zombie flick. They keep coming! They just keep coming.