A week away in Williamsburg

Transported to 1774

My wife Ellen and I have spent this last week vacationing in Colonial Williamsburg, staying in a charming room above a tavern on Duke of Gloucester Street in the center of town, in the heart of 1774, two-years away from the American revolution and a block from the House of Burgesses where Patrick Henry gave his “Give me liberty or give me death” speech, a stirring speech I heard my ex-wives give at Divorce Court more than once.

Two time travelers in front of their lodging

Our plane left Tucson at 5AM and we arrived in Virginia in the Bermuda Triangle of Historical tourism, the Colonial Triangle, which thankfully included no geometry lessons, but consisted of three sites named after guys named Jim, Bill and York: Jamestown, Williamsburg and Yorktown.

Our lodging was in the Brickhouse Tavern which was a very creative name for a structure shaped like a long house that was built of--you guessed it, history buffs, bricks. The door to our room was fitted with a mystifying thing called a lock and brass key rather than a digital card reader.

I turned the brass key clockwise and was flummoxed.

“Here,” said my fair maiden, “I’ll do it. I’ll turn the key counter sundial and see if that works.”

I tapped my wrist hourglass and said, “Don’t take all day-we’re running out of sand.” We found cursing King George helped.

Our room had a double bed with a canopy in case it rained inside. Outside our window was a lovely view of the Duke of Gloucester Street which was known to the colonists at the time as “the main drag.”

Jamestown

Day one we rode in our rented horseless carriage to Jamestown, named for the English explorer and musician James Taylor. There we learned the early colonists saw fire and rain their first year. And it only got better the following year when they saw pestilence and starvation. A Powhatan catering service run by Pocahontas saved the colonists by bringing them corn and venison from Venice.

First, we visited the original site operated by the park service. It consisted of dirt, swamps, and brick rubble here and there but mostly there. Next door to the Park Service’s Jamestown, which was created to preserve the rubble and torture disappointed school children was “Jamestown Settlement”, a Disneyland version of Jim’s town without wooden rollercoasters but with fun recreations of the fort, a Powhatan village and cool sailing ships docked at a wharf that, in spite of being pirate-free zones were fabulous.

There were hundreds of costumed re-enactors everywhere wearing period costumes and saying things like “Good day, sir,” and “Hello, wench,” and “This wool costume itches like the King’s clap”. Even the squirrels adopted the courteous courtly manner of the squirrels of 1774 and could be heard speaking to each other like Chip ’n’ Dale. We saw one family of squirrels hang up their bonnets at five and head “off campus” in the direction of “The Roasted Acorn Tavern”.

Day two we spent at Williamsburg. Along with the day we spent a fortune at Christiana Campbell’s Tavern that night, but I digress. That morning, we visited the House of Burgesses where representatives of the colonists gathered to irritate the Governor. At the time the Governor was appointed by the crown which was the King’s metal hat. When the Governor heard the rabble talking rebellion, he sent them to timeout, and they went to the King’s Legs Tavern (Maybe it was the King’s Arms) and they drank hootch and wrote the Virginia Declaration of Human Rights which sounded a lot like what would become the Declaration of Independence which today most Americans misidentify as the Gettysburg Address. George Washington, the cast of Hamilton and young Tommy Jefferson were there, and they were famous at the time for being big tippers.

Then we strolled to the Governor’s Palace down the street where the Governor resided. His name was Dunmore. It was said that Dunmore had done less than his predecessor, Governor DunEnough, and fled when the rebellious tourists became unhappy that the fife and drum marching band wouldn’t be performing until 4:30. When the fife and drum corps marched from the courthouse green through the heart of Colonial Williamsburg, I was so moved I signed up with the 4th Virginia Colonial Regiment of colonial actors. I was rejected for service because I was 244-years old.

That night we dined at Christiana Campbell’s Tavern where the food was prepared in 1774, and the ice cream was just ice and cream. Here’s a sample of the menu offerings:

Goat Clusters

Onion Pye

Kiln Baked Brick Surprise

Scuttles

Mystery meat

A bucket of Spoodle

Flame broiled Squirrel with tomatoes

Swamp Gnats

Mush Cakes

The bill was $220. We could see why the colonists threw tea into Boston’s harbor. We left a surly tip for the surly wench. Thank goodness for the strolling performers like the penny whistler who performed with his talented mother, a fiddler who was known throughout the colony as “Whistler’s Mother”.

Day three we dined that night at the King’s Arms Tavern where I ordered the King’s arms broiled and found them tastier than a Cornish Hen. There are many taverns to select from at Williamsburg but much to my disappointment none served Williamsburgers which by day three would have hit the spot. We wished we could have tried all the taverns, Lord Cracker Barrel’s, the Royal Chowderhead, the Buckwheat Bistro and the Spotted Dyck, but we ordered Vietnamese from Ye Olde Grub Hub for the remainder of our stay. We spent that day wandering Williamsburg shops and enterprises where we learned about the many trades of the time. We saw barrel coopers, butter churners, I-can’t-believe-it’s-butter churners, printers, nippers, clodhoppers, tailors, tally whackers and tiddly winkers.

We overheard an actor being chastised because he was late to work. “What do you think I am? A slave?”

“It’s called ‘enslaved person’ and that’s your role. Get to it.”

Day four we traveled the beautiful Colonial Parkway to Yorktown. This is where George Washington’s Patriots defeated General Cornwallis’ Redcoats with a final score of 4-3 with the help of the French who provided wine coolers, hot dogs and a new treat called French Fries.

Yorktown Battlefield

For Hamilton fans the spot where Lt.Col. Hamilton led patriots to a victorious assault on a British position was a Holy pilgrimage to a sacred site.

A Hamilton disciple at the Holiest site in the Americas

Day five we toured the Courthouse and Raleigh Tavern. In this tavern Washington, Jefferson and others gathered in the Apollo Room to hear Louis Armstrong, Cab Calloway and Billie Holiday and to foment the revolution. As I sat in the Apollo Room I couldn’t help but contemplate the upcoming election and how cool it would be to hear Beyonce serenade President-elect Harris in the very same Apollo room.

My favorite colonial actors were the rapscallion, the hooligan, the wrongly accused witch, the rightly accused shrew, the scalawag, young Thomas Jefferson, the scullery maid, and Jeb, the Confederate Soldier who showed up at the wrong place and wrong time, looking for “them damned Yankees” who I pointed out were still in New York City, unlike them damned Dodgers who fled Brooklyn for LA in 1957.

It was fascinating to experience the places where patriots dreamt of creating the world’s greatest democracy and united to fight against a tyrannical King. In the days ahead I will be inspired by the words Lafayette was rumored to have spoken to Alexander Hamilton, “When we fight we win.”

Note: In the remaining two days left before we return to the year 2024 on Tuesday we will savor staying in beautiful and amazing Williamsburg, paradise for history nerds and patriots like us. I recommend staying in colonial lodging and sampling the delightful taverns to anyone longing to be transported to another age.